Bags of Fun

Tonight I put my Christmas pressie (sewing machine) and birthday pressies (sewing book and gorgeous Cath Kidston fabrics) to good use and made myself a tote bag.

I made a few errors along the way but generally I am very chuffed indeed. I will be using it on my next shopping trip - let's hope it can hold up to the job.

Happy Easter

I won't be around for a few days. Too busy stuffing myself silly with chocolate eggs - back next week after a rest with renewed vigour and a larger waist.

Beautiful Book

This gorgeous book is a part of my Birthday gifts. It is a visually stunning book, it is about one of my favourite subjects (home and family) and is just lovely in every way. It even smells good, do you know what I mean? It isn't a glossy book - the pages have that wonderful 'booky' smell an d I just can't wait to sit down with a glass of wine and devour its pages.

Part of the introduction describes the book like this......

"Our home life can have a huge impact on who we are; as adults it affects our daily lives and moods, and for children it influences the kind of people they will become."

If that speaks to you - go buy this book - it's dreamy.

The Luckiest Woman Alive

Well, today is my birthday. It's not something that I was looking forward to particularly as I am approaching THE BIG ONE at high speed now and it is just not funny.

Although, I did have the loveliest day ever today. Firstly I spent two hours in bed with my gorgeous family. I was smothered with kisses, jumped on, cuddled, dribbled on and given fabulous gifts. The perfect morning.

I then received more phone calls and text messages than I though possible and the lovely man from Ocado arrived with my croissants.

After a very lovely morning of hanging out in my pjs and getting a visit from my sis in law, we went out for lunch.

The kids were fab as usual (although Danny boy is getting rather vocal for posh venues - luckily we were having pizza!)

After a spot of shopping we came home to chill. A constant procession of friends and family arrived all afternoon, which was lovely. I received so many gorgeous gifts and am just overwhelmed by how fab my mates are. Several of them had made a super special effort to seek out my most favourite things and I feel so lucky to have these wonderful women as my friends.

The children are now in bed and I am about to look at some beautiful books that I received today, I have drunk far too wine today and eaten more food than is decent but hey it's my birthday and old birds like me deserve a treat.

To all my lovely friends and family - thank you - I love you all and feel truly blessed to have you in my life! Cheers!!!!

Pretty

It is my birthday very soon and although I don't get very excited these days (stopped counting them 8 years ago!), I have taken the opportunity to buy a few special things for myself recently.

A huge pile of beautiful books should be arriving at the door next week, a very lovely parcel from a local contemporay home accessory shop should also be with me early next week but today Mr Postie brought me these lovelies. Apparently they are 1950's Dutch coffee cups but all I know is that they are very lovely, make me feel all spring like and make me want to find uses for them.

I love beautiful things and am very lucky to be surrounded by gorgeousness every day. What more could I ask for?

Spring Cleaning Fever

It's official. Spring Cleaning is beginning. My housekeeping box is stocked and ready to follow me everywhere as I get into all those nooks and crannies. It's lovely. I love how a room feels after a good spring clean, It almost sparkles and gleams at you.

My Spring Cleaning follows quite a long drawn out process and will take me several weeks to complete but as they say if a job's worth doing it's worth doing well.

I have started with de-cluttering. Approx 6 bin bags of stuff have already left the house to various charity shops and recycling centres and there is still more to clear. This is such an important step - you can't clean properly if there is clutter.

Then each room needs to cleaned in a methodical manner starting at the ceiling and ending with floorboards.

All cupboards will be emptied and restocked, discarding along the way.

I will be starting the BIG CLEAN next week and will put my step by step process on here as I go. C'mon clean along with me!!! I don't want to be alone and we can be all smug together in a months time when our houses gleam and wink at us.

But first...... more decluttering. I still have several rooms to do - children's rooms and half of the conservatory and then I'll be ready to start. Crack out the rubber gloves we're going in...............

EDIT - I am working on a new blogging project which will appear soon, therefore the spring cleaning plan won't appear here as there will be a new home for that kind of thing. IF you still want to clean along with me - message me and I can email my daily plan direct to you.

Friends

Just two quotes for now.........

Friends are like stars - You don't always see them but you know they are there

Friends are like bras - close to your heart and always there for support.

Take your pick.

That is all.

I'm having a think

I am reading a lovely book called Tuesday with Morrie. It is the kind of book that makes you want to change things in your life and see what is important a little more clearly.

This quote from the book kind of sums stuff up ....

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half asleep, even when they are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

This is so true and also so sad that there are so many lonely people living in our community, people who think they are living a great life but in actual fact are pretty empty. Money seems to be king for so many people and I wonder where they would be if the house, the car and the salary disappeared overnight.

If they don't have anything else, anything bigger, anything deeper to give them faith, love and hope then really they have nothing.

Recently, I have been bleating on about how tired I am and how hard I have been finding having two children. I have now gotten over myself and have reassessed lots of things in my life.

I really am taking stock - the book I mentioned above is basically the words of wisdom of an old man who is about to die (I know it doesn't sound like a right riveting read - but believe me it's great). His advice to a young man is to take a long look at yourself and your life and if today was your last day on earth - how would you feel about that?

Would you check your emails instead of playing with your baby? Would you take that phone call from work rather than finger paint with your toddler? Would you spend time wallowing in celebrity news rather than asking your neighbour how they are today? are you doing what is right?and do you now realise what the most important thing in life is - LOVE.

Eggcellent

As I have been saying, things have taken a real turn around these parts recently. Not only am I rediscovering the joys of homecooking and am taking my housework to a new level of bliss but I have recently started being a bit crafty too.

Not only have I been making decorations, teaching myself some crochet, and taking part in some international gift swapping (I am currently buying gifts for a buddhist, vegan man in Brazil - no joke!!!!) I have also been trying to learn how to sew. I am not at all talented at this kind of thing but I am so interested in teaching myself new skills. Yesterday I completed my very first items. The pictured egg cosies above. Now, I know they are a little big and a little wonky but they do look so cute when all lined up together and our Easter breakfast table will look lovely with them keeping our eggs warm. I showed them to Lilly this morning and she kissed me and said "thank you for making those Mummy". I feel very proud of myself and things can only improve with practice.

I'll be opening my own cottage business before you know it - anyone want a dress running up?

It's all about ME!!!!!

By it's very nature blogging is very self centred - but today I really have been thinking about ME.

Two things happened today that made me think about myself.

Firstly I bumped into an old friend, I worked with her more than 10 years ago (we also did a far bit of partying). It was a real surprise to see her locally as the last time I saw her was in Slough. I worked with her for a relatively short amount of time (about 2 years) but during that time we knew so much about each other - we shared our lives, we worked hard together and we played hard together and we shared stuff. You know, we talked about our families, our feelings, our relationships.

Later I was talking to another friend who I have known for about 4 years and talking to her I realised that we share very little. Yes we are friends, yes we talk, but during our conversation I became aware that she knew nothing about me really. Nothing about my deepest feelings, nothing about my past. She made a comment about her being defined by her career and that she wasn't really a homebody like me. At this point I realised that I have never spoken AT ALL about my previous professional life to any of my recently made friends.

Why is this? Why is it that I used to share so much of myself with my friends (and still do with those same people) but my recently made friends know nothing much about what makes me tick?

What is it that holds me back? Or is it that my newer relationships are based on something different and I don't feel the need to open my heart.

If you think you are one of the people mentioned above - and you are now worried that we have shared too much or too little - don't worry that's not what this post is about. I have no desire to start bleating on about past achievements. What intrigues me is why I am so different now. Why is it that all that people now know of me is my children. Is that who I am now? Have I stopped sharing of myself because all I am is my children - I don't think so, I am sure I am still the same person I was - with just as much to give to a friendship.

I need to look deep inside myself and maybe I need to tweak a few things.

Blimey, It really is all about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I'm a Mum!!!

I said I'm a Mum - I'm a Mum of two.

How can it be?

This is me.

I am the girl who once said that her dream job was a 'pole dancer' and that's nothing to do with getting my groove on in Poland. I'm the girl who would be at every party and always be the last to leave - that was me!

I am the girl who lived in an area that saw me at the wrong end of a gun and had almost daily threats of violence aimed at me.

I am the girl who grew up a little and decided she wanted to start a family and whose baby didn't come along as planned.

I am the girl who went through ten years of heartache and thinking I would never be called Mummy.

I am now a different person, I live in a beautiful area in a beautiful home with my lovely hubby and my TWO children. I am a housewife and am living the life that I always wanted.

I am so lucky and today I am so very grateful to HIM for my family and the happiness they have brought into my life.

Oh, and by the way - there is still a bit of me that would LOVE to pole dance.

Happy Days

Danny Boy is still ill, poor little thing looks terrible but is actually quite bright on himself and had another great nights sleep despite coughing his way though it.

The kids and I took a walk in the sunshine today (to the chemist to pick up drops for his gunked up eyes) and it was lovely. Nature is bursting into life everywhere. On our walk we collect some sticks which we cam home and painted white. We then got busy finding sping/easter items to dangle from the twigs. We are going to add lots more things during the coming weeks.

It was a lovely thing to do and the result is lovely and keeps making me smile everytime I walk into the room. Lilly loves the chicks around the base best and is calling them her friends (!)

So although things are yucky with a sick boy and miles of snot streaming from his nose and gallons of gunk pouring from his bloodshot eyes, I have actually maintained a sunny dispostion. How could you not on such a beautiful day? From where I am sat right now I can see my little girl playing Barbie, a vase full of tulips, washing blowing on the line, a tree full of pink blossom and our Easter 'tree' - fab! Days like this are good.

Spring, Bounce and Loadsa Snot

My poor baby is in a bad way. He has a stinking cold, is full of snot which is making him be sick, is teething like a demon and has conjunctivitis. He has also taken a couple of tumbles and has two bumps on his head. Poor little monkey. He is very emotional and clingy but also the freaky thing is he slept ALL NIGHT LONG for the first time ever. Not so sure tonight will be so pleasant though.

Whilst he took a nice two hour nap yesterday afternoon, I decided to start my spring cleaning with gusto. Wow - I only worked for about an hour but managed to fill enough bin bags to fill the boot of the car. My parents have just taken it all away to the recycling centre - so the house is taking a sigh of relief as it breathes a little easier.

I am about to attack another room right now and have an action plan ready for March. This is all part of my new 'clean start'. If you know me you know how much I love my home but I really feel it needs a little love and attention to bring it back to it's full glory and that is what I am about to do.

I will post some pictures of each room during March as they are completed to show just how shiny everything is.

Gotta dash - there's a cupboard that needs straightening!!!!!

I LOVE lists

How I love this cute little card organiser application. It is just the geeky kind of thing that makes my day - see it doesn't take much to please me.

Look at the things on it though - how homespun, how housewifely, how lovely.

I have been through a bit of an emotional time of late, battling and trying to share myself between a boy who wants to find trouble, a girl who craves her mummy's attention and a desire to be the 'perfect' housewife. I think have sorted all these issues now and am tackling things from a new angle - lets hope it works.

You see I love being a Homemaker. It brings me joy.

I don't spend my time dreaming up new ways to 'make house' because I think I should, I do it because it's something that I love and want to do well, for me and for my family.

I don't want to offend anyone when I say this but I don't care if people think what I do is right or wrong, worthwhile or purely old fashioned, it really doesn't matter to me because I know that what I do actually enables me to work toward being who I want to be and how I want my family to be.

Lists are a big part of this life and just seeing all those gorgeous homey things to do makes me realise how happy and lucky I am to be doing exactly what I should be doing and although at present things aren't picture book perfect - I am enjoying working towards it.

Ok ok ok

I feel a complete wreck. My body is not exactly in peak condition, I think having babies in your thirties is tough on a body which is not quite as firm and supple as it once was.

I sometimes feel myself moaning about my back, my feet, my neck and I bore myself - I don't want to feel like this anymore.

SO that's it as of this minute I am on a training program. I will be wearing shorts on holiday *gulp* that is only 4 months away. Ok I mean business - I WILL work out three times a week and mini eggs are now banned.

Look out there is a six pack waiting to burst out. I'm off for a glass of water and a handful of vitamins - bring it on.

To all my friends and family who read this blog - PLEASE help me. If you see me stray remind me of Davina McCalls abs and she has had three kids and is older than me - I can do this, just keep me away from all the good stuff until I get this old body under control.

A Walk In The Park

Today the kids and I took a walk and do you know what I realised - life is getting easier and every day is now enjoyable and fun rather than just 12 hours that we have to reach the end of. It is no longer a trial getting out of the house, our routines run like clockwork (well a clock that loses a few minutes occasionally) and I seem to have a handle on keeping some kind of balance to the day.

D Boy is now crawling and I remember that this was the point that I REALLY started to enjoy the Princess. Instead of just crying for you they can come and find you and instead of waiting for entertainment they go find it. Constantly. It's great fun and I love hearing the little patter of him crawling into the kitchen to wave 'hi' and suck on a plastic spoon.

I have just been watching a documentary about Jackie Clune and her 4 kids and I am pleased to say I am counting my blessings and filled with admiration for her and her partner. Can you imagine having a 2 year old AND triplets. Amazing.

I love Jackie anyway, she is a really clever, talented woman if you haven't ever seen or heard her you should - we were lucky enough to see her in Taboo in the west end and she blew me away, but the way her and her partner cope with their kids is inspirational and make me realise just how darn easy my life actually is.

Cabbage leaves, rain and cappuccinos

It is pouring today but I have had a lovely day so far.

Two friends have unexpectedly called by for a coffee and a bit of a natter. The boy is doing great - he no longer breastfeeds and although yesterday I was in agony, today the pain seems a little better (thank goodness for hubby's mercy dash at 9pm for a cabbage). He is drinking his milk from a cup and eating like a horse - he is growing visibly by the day (a little like those chickens Jamie and Hugh showed us last week)and is growing up fast *sobs*

The princess is great and again is growing daily, I left her and her friend playing computer at pre-school today. They looked so grown up and happy together *sigh*


During a very interesting conversation, a friend just described George Clooney as a cappuccino and I have to agree, he does look just like one. I could quite do with a caffeine fix right now! Strange really as I don't really 'go' for handsome men. My usual taste in men runs to wild men, drag queens, rockers and freaks but maybe I am growing more demure in my old age. Nah - Russell Brand still rocks my world.

Anyhow, it's been a very nice morning and I also have visitors this afternoon so I had better go and get the coffee on.

Breast Get It Over With

My baby no longer wants to breastfeed, not sure why - teeth? the pain killers I am on? Who knows!

This morning though he drained a cup full of formula milk, not sure if that was because of extreme thirst (he only had 2ozs before bed the previous night) or if he is telling us that he no longers requires my boobs.

So, we're on the cusp stopping the breastfeeding completely. If bedtime is a success tonight (in about 15 mins time) that will be it - no more breast milk - if he refuses the formula then who knows.....

Dan's world is expanding, and mine is shrinking.

I am very sad that this part of our relationship is coming to an end. It signifies that my baby is growing up very fast.

I adore breastfeeding, I love the primal physicality of growing a life and nurturing it, of nourishing my child and make him strong. I love that there is something that I can do for my child that NO-ONE else can do, I love the closeness and the bond it has created between us.

It is such a privilege, for which I will always be grateful. I will have no more children and so will never experience this again.

I will cherish this special time that I have shared with my children and remember the feeling for the rest of my life.

New Year

These beautiful tulips were bought for us by friends and make me smile all day long - they promise that Spring is on it's way. It seems an awful long way off, especially with the rain pelting against the window as I type.

I don't know if it is the new year or the thought of the spring but I am itching to redecorate. Paint, colours, fabrics and flowers are filling my mind. I feel like a change of style - nothing major just some new colours and touches. I'm feeling like a fresh start. Mmmmmm ideas are whizzing around but for today the tulips will do.

So, how was it for you?

We have had a lovely time, after weeks of planning, cooking, buying, wrapping and decorating - everything happened and went beautifully. New traditions were started, much food was eaten, Santa brought all the perfect toys and we were with family and friends - perfect. Apart from the kids being crook but hey you can't have it all.

We are so lucky to receive all the gifts we did but where are we going to put all this new stuff! Our house is modest but not tiny but it's not a tardis either and something will have to give if we are to fit it all in. Three bin bags of toys have already made their way to a charity shop and there will be more to follow.

I love Christmas decorations, candles and glitz.

But now that Christmas is over, it just looks like clutter and is just something else to dust. I am craving clear empty surfaces.

Aaah, the scent of Christmas candles!

But the smell is making me nauseous, we had one lit all afternoon today and I am offically sick of the smell of spices, pine and gingerbread. I'm looking to Spring and the smell of clean washing, fresh from the line, of daffodils and the fragrance of cold winter walks on my babies' cheeks.

I am craving space and cleanliness, I am craving a fresh start, the New Year and all the good stuff it will bring.

We still have too much food in the house, friends came over today and helped make a small dent in the food mountain but we still have to plough through tons more. I feel like I might burst and all I desire now is fresh fruit, fresh veg and gallons of water.

I can't bring myself to throw good food away, so looks like Tony's work colleagues will be getting a whole lot of chocolate some time soon.

Tomorrow is New Years Eve. Bring it on I say - I'm ready for you and am very excited at the prospect of doing some stuff differently in 2008 - I hope for lots of things in the coming months but mostly just to make life more simple and enjoy every moment as I now realise just how lucky I am.