HOLIDAY UPDATE

It's offical we are all booked. First 4 days with Mickey Mouse and friends in Paris and then home for a day then off to our favourite farm in Cornwall for lots of horse riding, cream teas, egg collecting, sandcastle building and above all fun. Woohoo.

Holiday

Our Cottage,
originally uploaded by Kazza, Mizzo, Lils and Daniel.

We have booked half of our holiday for next summer.

After much thought and changing the destination numerous times we have eventually decided to holiday in this country. We have booked the same cottage that we stayed in last September and we are all really excited already. It is on a fab farm and in a beautiful location with loads for the children to do. Perfect.

As I said this is half of the holiday, the other half should be booked by the end of the week and includes a trip on a train, a mouse and lots and lots of princesses - any guesses???

This is all so exciting as we are currently having a rotten time with colds, fevers, sickness and infections so having something to look forward to helps take us out of the bleurghhhhhh.

It's an awful long time 'til summer though, so am perking myslef up with the thought of buying our Christmas tree and getting some blinging lights going!!!

Bleurghhhhhh

I have barely left the house in a week. There has been so much snot and vomit that I felt I might drown at one point! The Princess still isn't well and now D Boy has it too - arghhhhh.

We have been lucky that he hadn't got ill before this point to be honest but he is doing it in style now. Snot and sick are still featuring highly on the daily agenda.

We were planning on booking our summer holiday today, it remains to be seen if we are able to drag two ill kids to the high street or whether we spend ANOTHER day holed up in the house.

I feel like my world has shrunk and it will be weird to go out and mix with other humans again - it's been that long.

Fingers crossed they both recover quickly or we all might just go out of our minds............

Thanks

In honour of American Thanksgiving Day, I'm thankful for....

My babies

My friends and family

Calpol

The internet and internet shopping (see below)

Ocado - food shopping done and will be delivered to the door on Christmas eve

Baby breath

Kisses

Gingerbread lattes

Sky+

My new Christmas cd

My organic fruit and veg box

Tassimo

Crafty

I have just spent the past three hours making Christmas tree ornaments. That's right - ME - making stuff.

Ok, so I'm not very good, but it has been loads of fun and I can't wait to do more.

I have enrolled myself in a holiday ornament swap. Which is basically as follows..

Hand make 10 tree ornaments

Receive a list of 10 people scattered around the world

Package up your ornaments and send them off to your 10 names

Wait, drink egg nog and Mr Postie will turn up at the door with 10 beautiful handmade ornaments from around the globe to hang on my tree.

Ohhhhh Exciting!!!

I pity the poor people who end up with my effort but at least the thought is there and they are made with love.

I will post a picture soon but the six I made tonight are really just test pieces, I hope to improve my skills for the ones I send out.

What's going on with me? I'll be entering cooking competitions next - oh yes that's right it's all going Martha Stewart around here.

What's Crackalackin ?

Not so much really.

Last night I was in my bed ASLEEP for six, yes six, solid hours. Maybe we are turning a corner. I'm not feeling any better though, I am still preoccupied with my age, my incredibly sore neck, my lost youth and my less than perky body parts. It's all very self indulgent and I should really pull myself together and think myself lucky etc etc

Believe me, I know just how lucky I am. My kids are amazing, beautiful - yadda yadda yadda.

I was discussing with a friend today how I am feeling ready to pull back a little part of the old me. It's fabulous being a Mummy but it's also pretty darn cool being Kazza, so sometime soon I will re-emerge from my cocoon of mummydom and hit the world full on again.

I'm not sure I will ever be the same girl who danced on tables 'til dawn, was always the last to leave, who was always one step ahead of the trends, who sipped champagne on the house beacause 'management' wanted girls like us there BUT I can be a bit more 'me' and so soon the transformation will begin. First step in the transformation will be to sort this old body out. I would like to say that I will be Kate Moss thin by Christmas but this is unlikely, it's a starting place though and slowly but surely next year my other resolutions MIGHT fall into place.

In other news, I have bought a memory foam pillow to help my aching neck - it's like sleeping on a breeze block but hey it might work.

Tomorrow is a day packed with ballet, visiting and shopping at Hobbycraft, yep it's all rock and roll around here - it might take a while for the old me to make a reappearance!!!

This looks cool by the way, in a geeky list making kind of way - ask my husband I am THE queen of to do lists.

Too Funny

So very cool

The music is ok, the dancing is just about passable, they hype is - well hype but the Take That fellas are looking amazing. Their style is great right now and in fact I am off to M&S right now to have a bit of a drool over the instore graphics. Sad I know, but if you are female and under 50 you'll get it!

When will I learn?

I should trust my instincts. For some reason I have gotten myself in a complete mix with regards to Daniels feeding schedule.

I remember when the Princess was weaning that I fed her solids and finished each meal with a milk feed. This worked perfectly.

So why on earth have I been listening to the likes of Annabel Karmel (in book form, she hasn't been popping by!) who advocate giving solids at meal times and milk feeds mid morning and mid afternoon. This seemed totally crazy to me as you are always either givng solids or milk every couple of hours and so of course baby is not going to have a good appetite for either one.

I called into see our Health Visitor today who confirmed that my instinctive way is the preferable way and that it should work out for the best all round - after all we are trying to teach Dan to eat like a fully paid up member of the family who eats three meals a day not someone who is wanting something every few hours - this can only lead to a fatty in the long run.

So from tomorrow I will revert to our orginal plan of three meals a day two of which are followed by a drink of milk, one with a cup of water and milk twice a day on it's own (morning and night)

I so wish I would listen to myself sometimes as I did a pretty good job with the Princess and if I follow a similar pattern with D Boy we can hopefully expect equally good things.

Phewwww - now I can relax until the next issue arrives on the horizon - actually it already has - we need him to drop his 3am feed for my sanity if nothing else. Wish us luck....................

More ramblings..

The boy is now 25 weeks old. Still longer in there than out here. How strange, as it seems he has been in our family always.

My head is all over the place. I feel the urge to escape from everyone to find some precious space but I lack the energy to do anything about it. I dream guiltlessly of a day alone, to do exactly what I want to when I choose, without thinking of others first or fulfilling chores. I'd wear only pjs or slouchy clothes and gorge myself on much-missed books and tunes. I'd go out for coffee and read the paper thoroughly and silently. I would go shopping and regain my previous passion for fashion instead of the mummy uniform of tshirt and jeans I have fallen into wearing daily. I'd sleep, oh yes, I would sleep lots and I wouldn't have to have one eye open and one ear listening for what might be.

Best of all I'd miss them all and would recapture that aching sense of love, infact in writing this paragraph I have realised that I'm not yet ready for time away from my babies but I'm building up to it and slowly formulating a plan for next year - all I have to decide is spa or west end rave up and I will finally emerge from this mummy cocoon as me again.

I have been thinking (in the early hours, sat in darkness, feeding the boy) about my life.

I have birthed two beautiful babies

I have had two major abdominal surgeries (see above, just 'cos c-section is common doesn't make it any less major)

I have endured heart-break of the sort I never imagined possible and certainly considered intolerable, and come out smiling.

I had 10 years of infertility and all the stuff that goes with that (talk about your head being a mess let alone any other part of you)

I have worked hard at all the jobs I had and excelled (modest eh?) at all of them

I have lived and worked in very difficult circumstancs, had daily threats of violence and been at the end of a gun during an armed robbery

I have socialised with people who choose an alternative lifestyle to me (ambiguous I know but details not necessary!)

In spite of all of the above, six months without a full nights sleep is without doubt the hardest experience I have ever known.

After saying all of the above, I watched the Princess at ballet today and was filled with pride at my beautiful, clever, elegant girl as she danced her way (almost) perfectly around the room. I listened as she held a conversation with another adult, independent of me and how she expressed herself so wonderfully.

The boy now has two teeth and is becoming a cheeky, funny little boy who loves company and enjoys a party (sound familiar?).

I love them both so much that I feel I could burst but sometime soon, I have to become me again instead of 'just' Mummy. This doesn't mean I am thinking of going back to work - far from it! but there is a little bit of me that wonders where I will be in five years time. What will life bring me and my little family, I hope whatever is ahead of us will be exciting and bring the kids happiness, this is all waffle to you I know but there is stuff in my head and plans are being formulated.....

The C word

OK, so it can't be avoided any longer.

Christmas is approaching - fast.

Now I know most people groan and say that it's ages away but it will be here in the blink of an eye. Family members have already declared their intentions, my Christmas saving fund will be in my hand in two weeks time, I have done about half of all my pressie shopping and I have just booked a time for Lilly's visit to see Santa Christmas (as he is known in these parts). I know it seems early but it is going to be a popular place to meet the big man and it seems silly to miss out on an ideal date.

I for one love the whole festive season. I am very sad and have a 'control journal' in which I can prepare myself for the big day. I have set weekly tasks from now until The end of November so that December can be a relaxing time with my family - with no stress and having to trawl the shops - I want to be able to spend my December doing fun things with the kids not running around like a crazed person.

I can't believe that this year we will be a family of four. I never thought it could happen, but this year will be even more magical than last year because of our extra little star.

Ok, so you might not be as into it as me and I promise not to mention it again until December but just so you know - I'm excited and it's a whirl of planning and excitiment in my head.

Childhood

We are just about to enter a new phase. We are about to start applying for a primary school place for the princess and she is moving up a group at her preschool. So, education is foremost in our minds right now.

The Princess soaks up knowledge and her favourite phrase at the mo is "tell me all about that" - which means she wants the whole picture on a subject not just a snippet of info.

I try really hard to give her access to as many experiences and as much knowledge as she wants and on a daily basis I struggle with my desire to pump this little sponge with more and more knowledge - phonic sounds, dinosaurs and the planets are our current favs BUT I also believe in my heart that children should just be children and they should just play play play and pick up knowledge through experience. I am trying hard to balance this.

I found the following at www.magicalchildhood.com and I nodded my way through it ...

Have a read and see if you agree.....

What should a 4 year old know?

I was on a parenting bulletin board recently and read a post by a mother who was worried that her 4 1/2 year old did not know enough. "What should a 4 year old know?" she asked.
Most of the answers left me not only saddened but pretty soundly annoyed. One mom posted a laundry list of all of the things her son knew. Counting to 100, planets, how to write his first and last name, and on and on. Others chimed in with how much more their children already knew, some who were only 3. A few posted URL's to lists of what each age should know. The fewest yet said that each child develops at his own pace and not to worry.
It bothered me greatly to see these mothers responding to a worried mom by adding to her concern, with lists of all the things their children could do that hers couldn't. We are such a competitive culture that even our preschoolers have become trophies and bragging rights.
Childhood shouldn't be a race.
So here, I offer my list of what a 4 year old should know.
1. She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.
2. He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that doesn't feel right, no matter who is asking. He should know his personal rights and that his family will back them up.
3. She should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use her imagination. She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs.
4. He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he could care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he'll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud.
5. She should know that the world is magical and that so is she. She should know that she's wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvelous. She should know that it's just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that-- way more worthy.
But more important, here's what parents need to know.
1. That every child learns to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads or does algebra.
2. That the single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!) to sit and read them wonderful books.
3. That being the smartest or most accomplished kid in class has never had any bearing on being the happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children "advantages" that we're giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful as ours. One of the biggest advantages we can give our children is a simple, carefree childhood.
4. That our children deserve to be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore them. Most of us could get rid of 90% of our children's toys and they wouldn't be missed, but some things are important-- building toys like legos and blocks, creative toys like all types of art materials (good stuff), musical instruments (real ones and multicultural ones), dress up clothes and books, books, books. (Incidentally, much of this can be picked up quite cheaply at thrift shops.) They need to have the freedom to explore with these things too-- to play with scoops of dried beans in the high chair (supervised, of course), to knead bread and make messes, to use paint and play dough and glitter at the kitchen table while we make supper even though it gets everywhere, to have a spot in the yard where it's absolutely fine to dig up all the grass and make a mud pit.
5. That our children need more of us. We have become so good at saying that we need to take care of ourselves that some of us have used it as an excuse to have the rest of the world take care of our kids. Yes, we all need undisturbed baths, time with friends, sanity breaks and an occasional life outside of parenthood. But we live in a time when parenting magazines recommend trying to commit to 10 minutes a day with each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as family day. That's not okay! Our children don't need Nintendos, computers, after school activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need US.
They need fathers who sit and listen to their days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take the time to read them stories and act like idiots with them. They need us to take walks with them and not mind the .1 MPH pace of a toddler on a spring night. They deserve to help us make supper even though it takes twice as long and makes it twice as much work. They deserve to know that they're a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them.

Added to this I have been reading about Steiner Schools and I must admit I like their approach to schooling. Melinda Messenger moved house to be close to one of these schools as she didn't like the pressure put on her son in mainstream schools to conform at a given time to a given skill.

Food for thought.

I Love This Boy

22/365,
originally uploaded by Kazza, Mizzo, Lils and Daniel.

He gets more beautiful every day. How did we get so lucky?

I'm not getting much sleep

For the past 4 months I feel like I have hardly slept, but it doesn't seem to matter once 7am rolls around. Danny's wind stops and he is suddenly awake. Wide awake. With smiles and giggles and rolling back and forth between us and touching us. Then we hear the princess in the next room calling, "Mummeeee Daddeeee!"

And then there we are -the family together snuggling and giggling and smelling of sweet dreams. Of course, then the moaning and the grumbling and nappy changing and incessant chatter and all the rest of the stuff that will fill the next 12 hours starts - but those few moments before the day really begins are magic and make the sleepless night somehow worthwhile.

OK I admit it, I am very very sad

I LOVE cleaning, I LOVE decluttering and I LOVE organising.

One of lifes greatest pleasures is seeing a room sparkle and gleam. It makes me happy to be organised and my house to be ordered.

I have been lost for the past three years, I have been unable to keep up with everything and it has driven me a little crazy but I have learned to relax a little and allow the clutter and cobwebs to make a tiny appearance. This is only because I have had no choice in the matter as I have been busy making babies but now I am determined to get a hold on the house again.

I have rejoined Flylady in order to give me some focus. If you haven't heard of Flylady go here and see what I am talking about. It is a cheesy American system of house organisation and cleaning and although it is very 'american' - it works and allows you to keep on top of the house with very little effort once you have done the initial few weeks of prep.

I love Anthea Turner's Perfect Housewife programme and her book is a bit of a constant companion. I aspire to Bree Van de Kamp's perfect home (although maybe not the rest of her life!!) and I am never without my list of chores.

Imagine my joy then to discover 'Method' cleaning products. Wow - non-toxic, natural cleaning products that work brilliantly, smell heavenly and look gorgeous (I keep caressing the bottles!!!). I am in love. Take at look at the little beauties here and get on down to John Lewis to grab yourself some.

My husband was recently asked in all seriousness if I have OCD he laughed at his friend and replied 'no' but maybe there is a little truth there somewhere.

I'm off to mop my floors now..... only joking - *maybe*

August?

Is it really summer?

This evening I am chilly and that is whilst sat in the house with all the doors and windows closed. It has been raining again. Today we did a lot of our Christmas shopping (happened across a toy shop that was closing down and had all stock at 50% off) - IT'S AUGUST !!!!!!!

Arghhhhhh.

In the rest of our lives, all is going well. We have just returned from a little break in Cambridgeshire with Tony's parents. The weather was grim but we all had a nice, relaxing time. The princess was great, she had so much fun, was brilliantly well behaved and ate like a horse. The boy was pretty cool too, he smiled through most of the day and kept to his night time routines so that was all good. Today he rolled over from his tummy to back for the first time. It was not intentional on his part and gave him quite a shock but he has rolled - that is the start!!!!

His wind issues continue - we had him to the GP again on Monday. She was a horrible woman who spoke over me, didn't listen to a word I said and made the boy cry by throwing him around and making stupid noises at him. I was furious. I am so concerned by what took us to the surgery in the first place but was basically told to go away. That is now our third visit to GPs with his digestive system and they won't hear me - there is something wrong but they just don't want to find out what. They are just hoping that whatever it is goes away. I am planning on seeing the Health Visitor on Wednesday and if necessary start shouting as I KNOW as his mother that there is something not right and we need to know if we can stop his pain.

Rant over.

Innocence and Independence

My friend Emma has recently blogged her thoughts on the Madeline McCann case and how it affects her as a parent. This got me thinking about how we keep our children safe and protected but also fulfill one of our ultimate roles as parents - nuturing an independent and confident child.

I am a very careful (read paranoid) parent, I recently stopped the Princess attended local gym classes as I wasn't happy with the level of care given by the instructors. After watching a session I didn't feel that they were equipped to watch the children adequately and I am just not willing to take any chances at all.

Other than pre-school (in which I have confidence), the Princess is always with me or someone I trust, but terrible things can happen in the blink of an eye. Only the other day we discovered that whilst we had been downstairs blissfully unaware, she had been up on her windowsill - the thoughts of what might have been still make me feel cold.

What about other areas? I'm not sure what to shield my kids from now. Sure there are the obvious things. Certainly, I don't swear in front of them and keep anything inappropriate out of earshot - I need to load Amy Winehouse, Prince and some of my gay tunes on to my I-Pod if I am to listen to it in the next 15 years. I know that hitting "next blog" when she's close by is a definite no-no. I don't allow her to see adult televison including soaps (Eastenders is so vile in it's content)

Obviously, their Internet access will need to be closely monitored as they get older to protect them from pervs and also the limit websites available to them - there is stuff they just don't need to know about anytime soon.

If you know me, you will know I am no prude and that I have certainly 'lived' but I find society today a scary place, there is little respect for others and the boundaries of what is morally and socially acceptable have moved so far away from what I find acceptable. It is the slow decline of manners and morals which I find hardest to grasp - again I blame things like Eastenders for the drip drip effect of changing our perceptions.


It's really overwhelming, the task of shielding our children.With society, television, films (even Disney), video games and the internet filled with violence, drugs, sex, and obscene language, how do we strike a balance between being a hovering parent who shields their eyes and ears from everything and allowing them to see and hear more than they should and becoming fully rounded people?

Really, how do we ever let them out of our sight?

Friday Morning Skive

The Princess is at pre-school (dressed as a pirate!) and the Boy is asleep in his swing, I am about to have a coffee and surf the net - bliss!!! The housework can wait. I was up from 4am with the boy moaning and groaning and eating his fists. I think there could be some teething action going on. The Princess had her first tooth through at 20 weeks which is only 4 weeks away so maybe...

I'm not an old hippy

and I do believe in 'live and let live' but this week I was shocked by some blatant and in my opinion 'wrong' advertising.

I was browsing through OK magazine, mainly to have a look at Katie Price and Peter Andre's new baby girl (she's adorable by the way) and within the interview Katie talks about the fact that she didn't want to breastfeed as she doesn't "want a baby drinking from me".

Ok, so it's a shame that she doesn't advocate breastfeeding as she is a great role model for young women and attitude like hers doesn't help increase the figures of new mums 'giving it a shot'.

She is perfectly entitled to do what she wants to do (and she always does!!!) but what I found shocking was the product placement of the formula milk she is using, the label aimed squarely at the camera and during the interview she talks of having crates full of the ready made bottles - no doubt in exchange for the photo 'advert'.

It is illegal to avertise formula for babies under six months but when celebrities allow themselves to be used is this manner, the formula companies get around the law.

There is a new call for ALL formula advertising to be banned, which may increase the poor number of women feeding naturally. At present only 25% of women continue feeding beyond six months.

Personally, I think that more help is required for new mums. I have found feeding very difficult this time and could have given up on many occasions but as I had such a good experience first time round, I persevered. Nobody has been there to help me through and Health visitors just seem to say 'keep trying' - not always easy when you are in pain and baby is hungry.

Young women, particularly those from less educated backgrounds and lower incomes need help and education, but sadly whilst role models like Jordan keep up the 'erghhh I don't want a baby hanging from me' attitude, this is going to be an uphill struggle.

Bit Of Both

The boy is doing great. He is a real character, very smiley, very chatty and great at blowing bubbles and shouting 'hey'. He is now grabbing toys and shaking them (and then dropping them). All in all he is doing fab.

His weight gain has slowed up dramatically though and has only gained 40z in the past 3 weeks - not so cool.

The health visitor isn't too worried but said to get him weighed again in 3 weeks time and then if things haven't improved it is because he is hungry and needs to be weaned. So it looks like we are just 20 or so days away from baby rice, bibs and mess mess mess. I can't wait to be honest. I know my son and I know that he is going to have his Mummy and Daddy's love of food.

Not sure if I should start to introduce a bottle into his life too. Breastfeeding is great- good for baby, convenient for mum and feeding from a bottle seems clinical and unemotional. However, it is a tie when you fancy a few beers or want to go on the mother of all diets. Its exhausting feeding every hour for days on end with no one to assist, and then running around keeping a lively three year old engaged during the day. We have recently turned down several party invitations due to being too far to feasibly travel and return home for the 11pm feed.

I've read that if you offer only a bottle for two days, baby will learn to latch and suckle from a bottle. A baby will never forget how to feed in his preferred method, and can learn to do both. This would be ideal but not sure I could handle the two days of confused crying and would whip out the boob to nourish him.

The other benefits of extending breastfeeding are avoiding the transition to bottle and goin direct to cup. This worked well with Lil. The other selfish reason is the cancer protection given to me if breastfeeding extends beyond six months.

The next month will be interesting and I am sure whatever is 'right' will prevail.

p.s. We have also booked his baptism - busy times!!!!