Chavs

Some are funny..........

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1. What do u call a Chav in a box? Innit.

2. What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet? Sorted


3. What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.

4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav? Innuinnit.

5. Why are Chavs like slinkies? They have no real use
but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs.

6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.

7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike,
why should you try not to hit him? It might be your
bike.

8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
What you lookin' at?"

10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box? Paint
three stripes on it.

11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's
driving? The police

12. What do you call a Chav with 9 GCSEs? A liar.

13. What do you say to a Chav with a job? Can I have a
Big Mac Please?

14. What do you say to a Chav in a suit? Will the
defendant please stand

15. What do u call a knife in chav-ville? Exhibit A

16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a
shame? A Nova seats 4

17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette? Granny.

18. How many chavs does it take to change a light
bulb? One, they'll screw anything.

19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a
river? A start.

20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
None, "That's some uvver bleeders job innit."

21. Why did the Chav take a shower? He didn't mean to,
he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car
wash

22. Why did the Chav cross the road? To start a fight
with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.

23. What do you call a Chav at college? The cleaner.

24. A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As
they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they
started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's
name. They argued back and forth until they stopped
for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav
asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could
you settle an argument for us? Would you please
pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde
girl leaned over the counter and said,
"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."

25. Two chavs jump off Beachy Head, who wins? Society

Our Clever Girl

She is hitting all her milestones, infact in some things she is very advanced. Reading for example...........

Which Drink Are You?

Cocktail


?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Summer Has Arrived

Wow, it's warm today. We have been to Manor Farm Park - it's a country park which covers an area of 400 acres, the park is a mix of woodland, riverside and open space, offering a peaceful retreat from the hustle and bustle of the nearby cities of Portsmouth and Southampton. We had a picnic and it was just fab. Lilly is still freaked out by grass, so it's really easy to keep her in one place (on the rug!)

In other news, Mr M had a haircut and I was measured for a bra (not at the same place). I have never had this done before, and although it is mildly emabarrasing to reveal your flabby bits to a stranger at least you get to wear the correct size (which was very surprising may I add!). I would recommend anyone who isn't sure, to go and get it done and you might be very surprised by the difference a piece of fabric can make.

BB6

Tomorrow night I will be sat with a scotch egg and a packet of peanuts(no, really!) to see the start of the new BB. I am very sad I know but I don't care as I am very excited.

This year will be different for me, other years I have watched around the clock but this year I feel unable to subject Princess L to such mind numbing tv, therefore I will only be able to catch bits and bobs and the evening shows.

It sounds like a good summer of entertainment if the gossip is to be believed. I read this info from an unofficial source earlier today......

On Friday 13 people will enter the Big Brother house for an action packed sixth series.
But as soon as the group are into the one unlucky resident will be chosen (by means as yet unknown to be the new Big Brother Butler.
The BB butler will oversee the general running of the house and will have to be at other housemates beckon call 24/7 they will sleep in the 'hidden s quarters' and will leave 'a life in hell' for one month.
But the Butler will have the chance to take the ultimate revenge on the housemates in a twist set to rival that of the Bedsit.

Do We Have A Gourmet Baby?

I have just read an article describing two common new styles of childrearing. I think we are more Gourmet with a splash of Wildflower thrown in.

" The gourmet baby's parents are already investigating the "right" nursery school, the best grammar school, the most prestigious college. If the parents both work, they are desperately trying to pack what they think of as "quality time" into evenings and weekends. If the mother does not work outside the home, she has made a deliberate decision to stay home to be a "professional parent."

Read more here.

Ask A Silly Question

Excuse me for being a little forward, but since when did "blogging" mean "asking a pointless question then posting your own half thought through answer, then going on to ask others to answer the same question, just to make it look like you are interested in starting a debate but in actual fact are just after someone to comment on your blog so that you feel that someone cares"?

I happen to think this sort of blogging is really very dull to read. Does anyone else think so?

What do you think?

Make Poverty History

I have four white wristbands available to the first people to request them.

Do your bit and wear it!

Just let me know.

UPDATE: one left now

I Am Very Angry....

There has been much debate over the whole 'yob culture' thing recently. Undoubtedly, set off by the hoodie ban at Bluewater.

I like to think of myself as openminded, forward thinking and quite a funky chick if the truth be known. I have 'lived a bit' and seen things that I think it is fair to say the vast percentage of the population haven't. For example I have been at the wrong end of a gun during an armed robbery, I have been in many social situations where taking cocaine and other drugs is the 'norm'and I was the odd one out for not ever having tried the stuff and have been subject to almost daily threats of violence. I took all of this in my stride as it was part of my life at that time. I now live in a leafy new town, where people smile and say hello and the nearest I have been to drugs is a very strong coffee.

Why then after all this am I so disgusted by what is now deemed as acceptable. There seems to be a certain middle class person who is taking the high ground on the hoodie issue. All I can say is that they obviously live in nice surburban areas where young people are wearing hoodies as a fashion statement. Great! I wear hoodies (in a vain effort to keep young!) but these aren't the people that Bluewater are focusing on. The shop staff there probably suffer, as I did, with treats to their wellbeing and even their lives and as far as I am concerned if that upsets a few kids in the process - sorry. There is a violent and threatening air in many shops these days and unless you have been working for minimum wage and have been threatened with a HIV infected needle you can't comment.

The latest thing to upset me in this 'yob culture' is the current adverts for a new Gordon Ramsey tv programme on C4. Why is it advertised with 'f**king' both verbally and in type many times over. All I can think is that this in some way appeals to a certain viewer.

Is it scarier that this type of person actually exists or that C4 thinks that they exist?

Celebrity Love Island - nuff said

Eastenders - I despair

What messages are we sending to our young people? I am scared of what the future holds for my baby.

Celebrity 'Love' Island

Further to yesterday's comment, I will only add that although I love Big Brother (and am getting very excited about the whole thing) and can handle IACGMOOH, life is far too short to watch this utter rubbish. Who the heck is Paul Danan and I nearly spat out my wine last night when he said "the government should bring in new laws to protect people like us" - meaning celebrities!!!!!

The world has gone a little bit mad.

Tonight my viewing will consist of Sarah Beeny and her Property Ladder - every other thing on the box tonight is rubbish unless you like terrible soap operas.

Abi Titmuss

Why??????

The Party's Over

The birthday weekend has come to end. We had a fab time and more to the point so did the birthday girl. Tomorrow, things return to normality as Daddy returns to work and us girls get on with life at home.

I already have a list of chores for the week that's as long as my arm. Bring it on.....me and my little girl can handle it.

Tonight, Daddy and I plan to have a drink or two and chill out on the last night of our holiday but at the moment Pincess L is still chatting in her bed.

It Seems Like Only Yesterday

One year ago, at this time, my contractions started and we knew that our baby would soon be with us. It took longer than anticipated and from this point took another 17 hours but we knew that our first meeting would be happening soon......

The pain I was feeling could never be explained and I thought I would never forget the agony, but one year on those feelings are a distant memory. What I won't ever forget is meeting my baby for the first time, she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and the emotions I felt then still make me cry now.

She has changed our lives beyond recognition and fills every day with laughs and giggles. She is joy and she is my life.

I love her so much that sometimes I feel I will burst and no matter how tired, fed up and lonely I sometimes feel, she makes everything sunny again.

I won't be blogging tomorrow as we will be very busy eating cake, playing with new toys and cuddling all day long.

We're Home!!!

We have just had 5 fantastic days in Holland. It was Lilly's first trip overseas and she loved every minute.

She has discovered that she loves apple cake, has lots of fun cousins to play with, that lekker means yummy and that she enjoys eating exactly the same as us and that plastic spoons are sooooo last year!

We had fun with our family and visited several great towns in the Netherlands (and at apple cake in evey one of them!!!)

More later, washing to do............................

Today I Had My Hair Cut.....

....and I look like action man now. It's really really short but I like it and it is just so easy to deal with (I'm not the type who likes to mess with her hair all day long).

Not much else to report.

We visited some friends this morning and spent the afternoon doing chores. Rock on!

Fridge Magnets

Click here to try out a really annoying game. Basically, you need to make words from the fridge magnets but the other players keep stealing letters from you.

Pointless but strangely addictive.