Too Funny

So very cool

The music is ok, the dancing is just about passable, they hype is - well hype but the Take That fellas are looking amazing. Their style is great right now and in fact I am off to M&S right now to have a bit of a drool over the instore graphics. Sad I know, but if you are female and under 50 you'll get it!

When will I learn?

I should trust my instincts. For some reason I have gotten myself in a complete mix with regards to Daniels feeding schedule.

I remember when the Princess was weaning that I fed her solids and finished each meal with a milk feed. This worked perfectly.

So why on earth have I been listening to the likes of Annabel Karmel (in book form, she hasn't been popping by!) who advocate giving solids at meal times and milk feeds mid morning and mid afternoon. This seemed totally crazy to me as you are always either givng solids or milk every couple of hours and so of course baby is not going to have a good appetite for either one.

I called into see our Health Visitor today who confirmed that my instinctive way is the preferable way and that it should work out for the best all round - after all we are trying to teach Dan to eat like a fully paid up member of the family who eats three meals a day not someone who is wanting something every few hours - this can only lead to a fatty in the long run.

So from tomorrow I will revert to our orginal plan of three meals a day two of which are followed by a drink of milk, one with a cup of water and milk twice a day on it's own (morning and night)

I so wish I would listen to myself sometimes as I did a pretty good job with the Princess and if I follow a similar pattern with D Boy we can hopefully expect equally good things.

Phewwww - now I can relax until the next issue arrives on the horizon - actually it already has - we need him to drop his 3am feed for my sanity if nothing else. Wish us luck....................

More ramblings..

The boy is now 25 weeks old. Still longer in there than out here. How strange, as it seems he has been in our family always.

My head is all over the place. I feel the urge to escape from everyone to find some precious space but I lack the energy to do anything about it. I dream guiltlessly of a day alone, to do exactly what I want to when I choose, without thinking of others first or fulfilling chores. I'd wear only pjs or slouchy clothes and gorge myself on much-missed books and tunes. I'd go out for coffee and read the paper thoroughly and silently. I would go shopping and regain my previous passion for fashion instead of the mummy uniform of tshirt and jeans I have fallen into wearing daily. I'd sleep, oh yes, I would sleep lots and I wouldn't have to have one eye open and one ear listening for what might be.

Best of all I'd miss them all and would recapture that aching sense of love, infact in writing this paragraph I have realised that I'm not yet ready for time away from my babies but I'm building up to it and slowly formulating a plan for next year - all I have to decide is spa or west end rave up and I will finally emerge from this mummy cocoon as me again.

I have been thinking (in the early hours, sat in darkness, feeding the boy) about my life.

I have birthed two beautiful babies

I have had two major abdominal surgeries (see above, just 'cos c-section is common doesn't make it any less major)

I have endured heart-break of the sort I never imagined possible and certainly considered intolerable, and come out smiling.

I had 10 years of infertility and all the stuff that goes with that (talk about your head being a mess let alone any other part of you)

I have worked hard at all the jobs I had and excelled (modest eh?) at all of them

I have lived and worked in very difficult circumstancs, had daily threats of violence and been at the end of a gun during an armed robbery

I have socialised with people who choose an alternative lifestyle to me (ambiguous I know but details not necessary!)

In spite of all of the above, six months without a full nights sleep is without doubt the hardest experience I have ever known.

After saying all of the above, I watched the Princess at ballet today and was filled with pride at my beautiful, clever, elegant girl as she danced her way (almost) perfectly around the room. I listened as she held a conversation with another adult, independent of me and how she expressed herself so wonderfully.

The boy now has two teeth and is becoming a cheeky, funny little boy who loves company and enjoys a party (sound familiar?).

I love them both so much that I feel I could burst but sometime soon, I have to become me again instead of 'just' Mummy. This doesn't mean I am thinking of going back to work - far from it! but there is a little bit of me that wonders where I will be in five years time. What will life bring me and my little family, I hope whatever is ahead of us will be exciting and bring the kids happiness, this is all waffle to you I know but there is stuff in my head and plans are being formulated.....

The C word

OK, so it can't be avoided any longer.

Christmas is approaching - fast.

Now I know most people groan and say that it's ages away but it will be here in the blink of an eye. Family members have already declared their intentions, my Christmas saving fund will be in my hand in two weeks time, I have done about half of all my pressie shopping and I have just booked a time for Lilly's visit to see Santa Christmas (as he is known in these parts). I know it seems early but it is going to be a popular place to meet the big man and it seems silly to miss out on an ideal date.

I for one love the whole festive season. I am very sad and have a 'control journal' in which I can prepare myself for the big day. I have set weekly tasks from now until The end of November so that December can be a relaxing time with my family - with no stress and having to trawl the shops - I want to be able to spend my December doing fun things with the kids not running around like a crazed person.

I can't believe that this year we will be a family of four. I never thought it could happen, but this year will be even more magical than last year because of our extra little star.

Ok, so you might not be as into it as me and I promise not to mention it again until December but just so you know - I'm excited and it's a whirl of planning and excitiment in my head.